#he's an asshole 😔

[derangedanomaly]

Random thought that popped into my head as I run on my tea alone after 37 hours with no sleep (please excuse me if this is filled with typos im tired but also cant sleep)-

So we can't seem to crack how to make Nightmare fall for us, right?

Well, I've got a few ideas

1: So he wants to play hard to get? Just play hard to get rid of! (Either he will find this endearing or you'll end up getting killed (probably the second one tbh) but it's worth a shot)

2: Get close to the people he cares about (even if he doesn't admit caring about them). I don't mean super close, but become good friends with all if them! If you're closer to his loved ones, then hhe may be more comfortable with you.

3: Find out what he likes but doesn't have / can't get for some reason and just... leave them around for him. Put them in little boxes n stuff (just make sure Blade doesn't steal him bc I feel like he would-) and give zero explanation as to why. Like-

NM: "[Y/N] why is the an antique cursed record I've been trying to get my hands on for years suddenly on my desk" You: "Oh yeah that was me" NM: "How did you even get this??" You: "Don't worry about it-"

3.5: pull a blade / A [I think that's what they're called, based off of Cricket's comments] and gift him the organs of his enemies preserved in jars

4: Be like really frickin flirty but pretend you don't even know you're doing it- like Chaos did! (Pls tell me yall remember that too)

*just hanging out in the library or somethinh* You: *drops the most insane, down-bad comment of all time but words it in a way so it sounds normal at first* NM: "....e-excuse me?" You: *with feigned innocence* Did I say something wrong?

5: flirt with him over time, but make it a gradual shift- like at first it's just the frequent little compliments on a lot of the things he does, until you eventually get to actual flirting- [maybe even the down bad stuff eventually 👀]

6: flirt with him, but be like... all formal about it. Idk how to explain it

7: write poetry. GOOD poetry. Then over time, slowly add more romance to your poems to get him build up. Then start mixing in his name every once in a while - not necessarily for the romance poems, just make sure he's referenced or something. Then get more into writing love poems about Nightmare himself.

Okay that is all goodbye, I shall retreat with my boba back into my hidey hole 🧋

— 🦗

You'd die a horrible HORRIBLE death 😭✋

The only thing you achieve with him is that he'll.... "Tolerate" you. 💀

Ok- this might work, if you play your cards right.

You're double dead 💀

He'd get wary of you.. "why are you complimenting him so much??" I mean... He expects compliments, of course, but not this frequently.

Ok- this might work too. But again, you have to know like- old English 😔✋

He's not phased. Of course he expects you to write poems about him. 🙄

Bitch has a GIANT god complex 😭✋

But good ideas lol.